Everyone talks about the importance of achieving the elusive work/life balance. But in my opinion, trying to find perfect balance is a pipe dream—a wasted effort. In today’s fast-paced workplace, most of us are urged to do more, faster, and with fewer resources. There seems to be more pressure to be successful—whatever that means—than ever before. While doing the job of two or three people at work, we’re expected to be exemplary parents AND have a fulfilling personal life in which we rear perfect children, enjoy our hobbies, volunteer in the community, and take superb care of our bodies, spirits, and minds. But I maintain that while the quest for balance is a wonderful goal, it’s just not a realistic goal for most folks. Instead, it has become one more “to-do” on an ever-expanding, guilt-inducing list.

What if the balance we’re looking for in our lives was more like the dietary balance that nutritionists recommend? We don’t need to eat all the proper numbers of servings from the five food groups each and every day. The goal is to eat a diet that allows us to get a good balance over the course of a week or month that’s still quite healthy. Translating that to the bigger picture, there are times when we need to work more than usual and other times when we can take more time off. Sometimes we can focus more intently on our hobbies and passions; at other times different priorities take precedence. There may be times when we take really good care of ourselves, and other times when that slips a bit; times where we devote a lot of attention to our family, and other times when there is less energy and daily time to focus on them. And that’s OK; it is as it needs to be. The aim of balance is to live a well-rounded life, to renew and refresh your creative energies on a regular basis so you can achieve your highest potential. Here are some useful tips to help you achieve a realistic balance:

1. Get Mindless. The flip side of work isn’t only family time; it also includes activities that rejuvenate you, whether that’s spa time or a simple hot bath, sports, meditation, fishing, taking a walk, sitting in your yard and watching the birds in the trees or the clouds in the sky. This “mindless” time is critical to restoring your mental prowess, as well as your physical stamina. It also creates space for spontaneous creativity and problem solving. Don’t force it, though. The aim is to relax and enjoy the time fully.

2. Use your calendar. Remember to schedule nonwork activities into your calendar for specific days and times. If you need to contact others to set things up, schedule that into your calendar, too. Once you enter an activity in your calendar, you’ll become committed to it and you’ll be more likely to follow through.

3. Reduce family time stress. Quality time with your loved ones needn’t be complex or difficult to pull off. The most rewarding family activities aren’t necessarily the most formal or expensive ones. There are many ways to spend rewarding, memorable moments with your family and friends. Some ideas include going for a bike ride, sharing an interesting craft project, baking or cooking a meal, going for a hike in a local park, or taking a car ride.

4. Be gentle with yourself. If you start a new habit that soon gets pushed to the side in the onrush of regular life, understand that it’s completely normal. You haven’t failed; you’re just experiencing the same breakthrough bumps everyone else goes through. It’s unrealistic to decide to take up a positive new practice and follow through on it forever. Ask yourself if the new habit is worthwhile, and if it is, work it back into your schedule. If it isn’t satisfying, try something else.

5. Make it sustainable. If it’s not already part of your schedule, creating an expectation that you’ll practice silence, or meditation, or journaling, or some other activity every day just isn’t realistic. Once or twice a week, or even once or twice each month, may be enough for some balance activities, at least to start with. After all, any effort is better than none.

6. Make it yours. Don’t get caught up in trendy balance activities if they don’t fit your tastes. Since cultivating our best selves is one of the reasons we seek balance, spend time doing the things you really love to do. These are, after all, the pursuits that will truly reenergize and gratify you. So if the pursuit of balance is putting you off balance, remember that while it’s a worthy pursuit (in moderation), its purpose is to reduce your stress, not add to it. Understand that on any given day, something probably has to give. Just make sure that you set aside time on another day to devote to the activity you’ve slighted today. Are you having trouble finding a balance between work and other aspects of your life?

A well balanced life is essential for personal effectiveness, peace of mind and living well. Whether we work, go to school or are retired, we all have responsibilities. There is always someone, or something, to answer to. There are things we want to do and things we must. The challenge is to balance what we must do with what we enjoy and choose to do. This is not always easy. If, however, we are unable to reduce stress and manage a well balanced life there can be physical and/or emotional health consequences.

Tips for living a well balanced life:

1. Take care of and nurture yourself.

2. You cannot accomplish anything if you’re unhealthy. Get plenty of rest, exercise and eat properly. Many of us think we can burn the candle at both ends, eat junk food, get very little exercise, and still function adequately. You may be able to get away with this for a while when you’re young, however, at some point, this life style catchs up with the best of us. Burnout is a real possibility. Ideally, set aside time each day for an activity that you enjoy, such as walking, working out or listening to music. Or, allow yourself to unwind after a hectic day by reading, meditating or taking a nice hot bath.

3. Know what your priorities are.

4. Balance does not entail cramming in every activity possible. Examine your values and decide what’s important to you; then set your boundaries. You may be in the process of building a career, starting a family or going to school. Depending on what stage you’re at in life, your focus and energies will be different. Avoid becoming overwhelmed by juggling too many big projects in your life at once. Maybe planning a wedding is not a good idea when you’re studying for the bar exam. Nor, is starting a family when you are unsure about your career direction, or relationship status. Not knowing what you want and trying to do everything at once can be a recipe for disaster instead of the road to leading a well balanced life. As the saying goes, “do not bite off more than you can chew”.

5. Create an efficient mindset.

6. Be organized and plan ahead. Take time at the beginning of each week to assess what needs to be done. Make a to-do list in a planner or calendar for upcoming appointments, impending exams. or meetings to attend. Be sure also to allow for recreation and quality time for yourself and your family. Taking the time to connect with family and friends will recharge your batteries and make you more efficient in the long run.

7. Expect the unexpected.

8. Rather than get stressed and upset, learn to roll with the punches when something over which you have no control happens. You could get stuck in traffic, your computer could crash, or your child could get sick with the chickenpox. Stuff happens. We’ve all experienced the unexpected. If you accept that anything can happen at any time, it’s less likely it throw you off your stride when it does. Be able to adjust your game plan. Note also, that there are times when achieving balance may not be possible. For instance, you may have a family or career crisis that needs your immediate and undivided attention. It may require an exceptional amount of your time and resources. When that happens, do whatever it takes and when things go back to normal take time to refresh and rejuvenate yourself.

9. Maintain a positive mental attitude.

10. Begin each day with the intention of making the best and most of it. It may not always go as planned, but it can go more smoothly if you put it in perspective. Part of living a well-balanced life is learning how to deal with adversity, unforeseen events and uncertainty. If you practice not letting things get to you, you will not only learn to live a well balanced and less stressful life, you will learn to live in and savor the moment. Once you’ve done everything you can within your control, let your life unfold. Be prepared for the future, but don’t worry about it. While we can’t anticipate and plan for everything in our lives, we can decide how, where and when to concentrate our energies. This may require some critical thinking and problem solving, but in the end it will lead to much less stress and a well balanced life.